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Managing Up

The Art of Speaking Up, Managing Up, and Creating Win-for-All Solutions

October 01, 20245 min read

I was recently reminded of a harsh reality when I learned about the closure of a video game studio, which may have been linked to a culture that discourages questioning leadership and providing constructive feedback. If people can't give honest feedback or challenge decisions, it's like watching a ship head for the rocks—I've been there. It’s a painful experience, and it’s one that ultimately leads to failure. Leadership, real leadership, isn’t about forcing positivity or ignoring the difficult truths. The best teams I've been a part of are the ones where you can call out the elephant in the room without fear of judgment or retaliation.

When I’m leading, my primary goal is to create an environment where my team feels safe enough to say, "This isn’t working." To do that, it’s essential to build a culture of candor and curiosity. I make it a point to ask questions like, "What's not working?" after every sprint or milestone and then, most importantly, act on the feedback given. This isn't just about solving issues—it's about demonstrating that every voice matters, which builds trust and drives true collaboration.

The Importance of Candor in Leadership

Practicing candor isn’t as easy as simply saying what’s on your mind. It requires speaking with integrity, being open, and committing to being unarguable—sharing the truth of your experience without attaching yourself to being right or making someone else wrong. As a conscious leader, speaking with candor means expressing my truth while remaining open to learning and listening deeply to others.

In environments where candor is practiced, withholding information or feelings isn’t acceptable. Withholding—the act of keeping thoughts, judgments, or concerns to oneself—diminishes the collective power of the team. Energy gets blocked, creativity diminishes, and the whole organization suffers​. This is why I commit to being honest and transparent, and I encourage my team to do the same.

Curiosity: The Foundation for Growth

Another key component of conscious leadership is curiosity. In many organizations, ego and defensiveness prevent leaders and team members from seeing beyond their established views. Curiosity allows us to approach situations with an open mind. It’s about asking, "What else is possible?" instead of clinging to being right. When we’re committed to learning and staying curious, we remain open to new ideas, feedback, and innovative solutions that we wouldn’t see if we stayed entrenched in our ego-driven perspectives.

Managing Up: A Collaborative Approach

Managing up—communicating effectively with those above us in the hierarchy—adds another level of complexity. How do you help leadership see potential issues with their direction when their ego is involved? It’s a balancing act. Even when you know you’re right, handling the situation poorly can lead to adverse outcomes for your career.

From my experience, managing up effectively involves a few critical practices:

  1. Build Trust with Every Interaction: Trust is earned through small, consistent actions. Every meeting, every conversation, every follow-up email is an opportunity to build a relationship based on reliability, integrity and authenticity.

  2. Get Curious About Their Vision: When you take the time to understand your leader’s vision—really understanding what they care about and what they’re trying to achieve—you’re better equipped to ask meaningful questions that guide them toward better solutions.

  3. Ask How It Aligns with Project Goals: A great way to help leaders see flaws in their approach is by asking how their direction aligns with the goals. Framing the conversation around goals and outcomes helps keep the discussion neutral and focused on the work, rather than making it personal.

  4. Present Data and Facts Without Judgment: Data is a powerful tool, but it must be presented without judgment or emotion. Emotion and ego can derail an otherwise productive discussion.

  5. Collaborate, Don’t Challenge: It’s critical to approach the discussion as a collaboration. You’re on the same team, working toward the same goal. Instead of positioning yourself as someone who has all the answers or as a martyr taking on the burden of truth, you make it about a shared journey of figuring out the best path forward.

Managing up is not about winning an argument or proving a point. It’s about helping leaders see a way forward without making them feel undermined or challenged. It’s also about creating win-for-all solutions that align everyone: the team, the studio, the publisher—so that everyone moves in the right direction without triggering anyone’s fear of losing power or control.

Win-for-All Solutions: Moving Forward Together

The concept of win-for-all solutions is fundamental to conscious leadership. The idea is that we’re not just trying to win individually, but we’re trying to ensure the success of everyone involved. For a project to thrive, the team must thrive, the studio must thrive, and so must the relationships with stakeholders and publishers. This requires empathy, a willingness to see others' needs, and the desire to find a solution that addresses as many needs as possible.

In my experience, the leaders who are most successful in the long run are those who recognize that their success is tied to the success of those around them. These leaders aren’t just looking out for their own interests—they’re deeply committed to the well-being and growth of their entire team. This mindset creates an environment where everyone feels valued and motivated to do their best work.

Conclusion: Conscious Leadership in Action

Being a conscious leader means creating an environment where everyone feels safe to speak up, where curiosity is fostered, and where we aim for solutions that benefit everyone involved. This is the foundation of real, sustainable success. It’s not always easy, and it’s certainly not without its challenges, but when done well, it leads to higher engagement, better solutions, and a culture where people are empowered to bring their full selves to work.

The next time you face a situation where honesty and tough conversations are needed, remember that the goal isn’t just to "fix the problem"—it’s to build trust, foster growth, and create a shared sense of purpose. Through practicing integrity, fostering curiosity, and aiming for win-for-all solutions, you’ll not only lead more effectively but also help build a culture that thrives on collaboration and respect.

If you’re looking to strengthen your leadership skills and create a culture of trust and collaboration within your organization, schedule a free 15-minute Discovery Call today. Our customized coaching and consulting services can help you foster ownership, accountability, and growth, ensuring your entire team is moving forward together. Let’s explore how you can elevate your leadership and make a lasting impact.

Conscious LeadershipManaging UpSpeaking CandidlyWin-for-All SolutionsTeam CollaborationEffective FeedbackLeadership DevelopmentConflict Resolution in TeamsGrowth-Oriented Leadership
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Chad McFarlin

Entrepreneur | Jiu-Jitsu | Leadership Coach

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Leadership psychology principles based on the work of author and therapist Phil T. Mistlberger, and his Conscious Relationship Trainings.

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